Not to sound like a bummer, but we’ve literally just started this year, and I’m already tired of it. 2020, this salty bitch, is already the epitome of Everything Bad Is Happening All the Time, and we are all sporting some serious fatigue. We’ve still got a full year ahead of us, but I believe in our ability to thrive despite this honestly whorish year already truly doing it to each and every one of us. Perhaps, in a strange turn of events, the answer comes in the form of fashion trends based on your Myers-Briggs type.
Look—maybe just for today, we can circle our wagons a little, and all of us can figure out which 2020 fashion trends each of us should try based on our Myers Briggs types. Please allow me to take just one second to really dig into your riboflavin—which scientists are afraid to tell you is where the personality juices are stored—and tell you which of the following style trends the universe has chosen for you. After all, we’re going to save the world this year, but we also are going to have to wear something.
You’ve got a tough outer shell and a love for logic and practicality. You know who else has those? Robots! So take some style cues from our mechanical friends this year and pull off your best shine as you zoom into the next decade.
Give yourself a little extra layer of protection this year, even if it’s just symbolic. You’ll need all the help you can get while you’re driving everyone to the airport and watching all their dogs.
My Chemical Romance is back which means so is your major, major emo phase. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.
Take one decision off your always-overflowing plate this year. Stick to neutrals and save that color-matching energy to use on one of your spreadsheets.
The concept of time may have the least grip on you of all the types. To you it might as well be the seventies because you’re definitely hitting your Friday deadline either way, so why not dress like it?
You’re already spending all your time dominating so why not be on-the-nose about it?
You’re already Most Likely To Do Business, so you might as well start dressing the part.
ISTJ—Elevated Polka Dots
Enjoy clothing with a regimented amount of “fun” while still being sure they’ll still go with all the pieces you already own! Because the best kind of fashion is the kind that inconveniences you the least.
You already know you’re the mom of every friend group so you might as well get the correct equipment.
STATEMENT TIME! Let’s see people try to ignore the ~new you~ when you’re clomping around the office in these babies.
Practical, cozy, but also potentially the kind of outfit that would make a handsome stranger go “Who’s that?!” as you passed in inexplicably dramatic lighting? Sign you up!
Put all those years of fantasizing about running around the moors with Heathcliff to use and manifest your heavy romance vibes all year long.
Is there really anything you want to say to the world that wouldn’t be amplified with a whoosh of your brand new cape?
Is it just for show or are you actually planning a trip to the Serengeti? You’ll never tell.
2020 is the year you realize you and your boobs have a lot in common. Namely, both of you are super over being restricted in any way whatsoever.
Because, deep down, you truly believe there’s not a problem in your wardrobe that can’t be overcome by just splashing an insane color all over it.