Episode three of The Bachelorette was definitely one for the books. We had gaslighting, in-fighting with the men, a roast, a 1-on-1 gone wrong and an hour-long makeout session in Clare’s bedroom. Let’s get into it, shall we?
We start off with Yosef yelling in Clare’s face about her “appalling,” “classless” and “degrading” behavior. This man is an idiot and clearly has no idea how to speak to women. Seems like he’s setting a great example for his daughter! I applaud Clare for sitting there so calmly and letting this asshole dig his own grave. TBH, Yosef might even be worse than deli meat Chad. Thankfully, Clare has no problem kicking him out.
After we say good riddance to Yosef, Dale swoops in to comfort Clare (smooth move producers) and we move right into the rose ceremony. As they pan across the room to each guy, I’m reminded I still don’t know half the dudes here. But that might be more Clare’s fault than mine because she literally has only spoken to Dale, Blake and Jason (the guy from last week’s 1-on-1).
Clare shows up late to the first group date and lets the guys know they’ll only be doing a cocktail hour. I’m sorry, what?? Why was she late? Was this orchestrated by producers? I have so many questions and it looks like the men do too. Except for Dale because “when I get quality time with her… it’s a wrap.” This dude is looking less and less genuine by the minute.
After making a speech about respect, Dale then occupies almost an hour of Clare’s time in her bedroom, although she definitely doesn’t mind, as evidenced by her question, “why are you so perfect?!” Watching them giggle as they’re interrupted by Easy (poor guy) was like seeing a couple of teenagers scurry after their parents check on them in the basement. Smooth.
When Clare asked the producers if they could hurry the rest of the guys along I knew it was over. She’s got tunnel vision for Dale and there’s no persuading her to give anyone else a chance.
Dale on the other hand seems conniving. Why give a speech about respect and tell the guys he just needed five minutes if he was going to monopolize her time like that? Go back to your Halloween costume modeling gig, Dale and you can take Clare with you.
Next, we move on to a clearly very pointless 1-on-1 with Zach J. She is so uninterested and there is zeo chemistry between these two. Very awkward. But not as awkward as that non-kiss! I definitely think Clare jerked back first, but that didn’t make it okay for Zach to try and manhandle her into getting that kiss.
Clare was clearly uncomfortable and I would be too. She’s discussed her trauma from a past abusive relationship and I’m sure this situation was triggering for her. Thankfully, Chris Harrison is here to save the day, doing Clare’s dirty work to break up with Zach J at the dinner portion of the date.
Now, we move on to the next train wreck of a group date. The men are all excited about being on a date without Dale when, lo and behold, he shows up to be part of the audience for the roast.
Obviously, the men take many digs at Dale, and we watch Clare get more and more uncomfortable about the situation. Not because, as the men are hoping, she’s realizing there’s a side to Dale she’s not seeing, but because she’s taking their digs at him personally.
Can we talk about the moment she literally called Dale her fiancé?? Yeah, let’s not brush that under the rug. Also, I think it’s important to mention Clare hasn’t posted *anything* about the episode on her Instagram. Usually, it’s all about the promo the day of the show, so clearly, something is off.
At the group date’s cocktail party, instead of trying to get to know the men better, all she wants to do is talk about Dale. Every single conversation was the same, and the men start to figure out she’s not there for them at all.
At the beginning of this episode, I was totally Team Clare. She seemed genuine about wanting to find a partner in life and true love, not just Instagram fame. But now that she’s not even giving the other guys a fair chance, I’m so over her. And the other men seem to be too.
We end the episode with some dramatic flash-forwards of Clare’s departure and Tayshia’s epic reveal. The slow-motion! The water! That bikini! This is The Bachelorette I know and love and I am so ready to start the *real* season of the show.
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